Well here I am 24 hours away from home, in a strange city, meeting people for the first time, the only thing that we have in common is that we are wanting to make a difference to our lives.

I met Russell Friedman, who is one of the founders of the Grief Recovery Institute, he was going to guide us for the next four days. What a beautiful, kind, gentle man who you would definitely trust your emotional "baggage" with.

What I found really interesting was that there are at least 40 different types of losses that we may endure throughout our lives. We can have a loss of our health, loss of culture, loss of safety, loss of trust, loss of our parents, partners, friends, children; financial loss…the list goes on and on.

One thing that hit me whilst Russell was explaining the differing types of losses, was the loss of culture and heritage, which explained a lot for me especially as I had just spent time in Italy with my family. It was something that I really did feel, the loss of my roots, the loss of where I had come from.

With an overview of the what we were going to cover over the next four day, we all introduced each other and what described the emotional loss that we felt that we needed to release; knowing that by releasing this emotion we would be able to free ourselves of the "fur balls" (as Russell described them) from our emotional energy centre. By doing this we will be able to live a life of our dreams without all that emotional baggage that was hindering us.

Let the transformation begin..,..

My time in Italy with Daniela & Sergio is almost at an end….they have helped me cry, laugh, experience my culture again, see family that I have not seen in a long time however most of all that have shown me a lot of love!!!!!

We enjoyed a 3 hour train ride to Milan from Prato, with once again talking the whole way with Daniela and my Zia Rita… on arrival we had some lunch, dodged the rain, and waited for the dreaded time to say 'Goodbye' to arrive!!!

With a heavy heart I reluctantly boarded the bus that was going to take me from the Milan train station to Malpenza, the International Airport. I cried and cried for what I was leaving behind, my soulmate in Italy…

I messaged Daniela with real pain in my heart to thank her for all that she did for me during my short stay in Italy, and all I could think about was how much I was going to miss our chats, our laughs, our connection.

Before long I was on the flight from Milan to London, where I was going to commence the next part of my transformational journey. What was I going to encounter, who was I going to meet, what was I going to discover about myself…

Arrived in London where I arranged a transfer to my hotel, it was a small quaint hotel, small being the operative word, my room was just big enough when I rearranged the furniture to put my suitcase in, this was going to be my home for the next 4 nights, the next 4 days were possibly going to answer a lot of questions for me and transform my life in an unbelievable way…

After saying goodbye to the village of where my parents originated from, the village that has my family roots, the village of my heritage, culture of my family…

It's time to move on, to venture further afield and expand my horizon, just like my family had to do just after the second World War, to give themselves and their families a better life.  As we drove back on the autostrada to Florence, we talked and reflected on the past few days.  It became more apparent to me, once we spoke about the political and economic situation in Italy, that my parents made the best decision for themselves and for us.

Here I live in Australia, the land of opportunity…where anything that is possible can be done.  The only thing that can stop me is me…and through my mothers and fathers foresight I am living the life of my dreams and actually living the reality!

Enough philosophy…we drove for six hours apparently through a storm as well, Daniela and I were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn't even realise…

Arriving in Florence to where my Uncle and Aunty live, it was great to see them again, and to also see Daniela's Nonna Lucia, who is 92 years of age, was a real delight and pleasure.  Here is this woman who has experienced so much in her life and is still able bodied enough to cook, clean, wash and iron,  and being a important part of the family, it was incredible to experience.  I have a Nonna in Australia of the same age, and she has been bed ridden for the last 13 years, what a joy it would be to have my Nonna be as agile and mentally alert as Nonna Lucia.

Here I also saw another Aunty and cousin, unfortunately my Uncle (the same age as myself) died a week after I was operated on with my breast cancer in 2004.  It was difficult to see them again, especially as we had spent some great times together over the years, and here I am sitting in their home, no Uncle and my Aunty's father had also just recently passed away…how things change with time.

Seeing my family in Florence and going to the cementary where my Uncle who was only 6 months older than myself lay, I realised that life is a journey of choices and we have so much to be grateful for…

As you all know I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in November 2004, and I am now coming up to year number four with my fifth and final year (under medical supervision) almost over, I have some excitement building and planning a celebration…

 
A few days ago I was looking at a local paper where I saw a death notice of an acquaintance and a client. Kellie York.

 
Kellie was in my office planning a family holiday around the time that I was diagnosed with breast cancer and at the same time she proceeded to tell me that she had also been diagnosed.  We hugged and talked about what we were about to face, I kept in touch with her every now and then…here I am a few years later looking at her death notice, she had lost her battle and here I am living the life of my dreams. As I read Kellie's death notices, I began to question…why is it that some of us survive and others aren't as fortunate!!!

 
Whilst I was contemplating Kellies passing, a doctor friend of ours met us for lunch the next day, I am at the tail end of the normal winter flu, and for some reason Dr Nic proceeded to tell me that a patient of his who was undergoing radiotherapy treatment for breast cancer, had contracted the flu which had developed in to pneumonia and she had also passed away…what is going on!!!

 
Then today I was watching the news and I hear that Glenn McGraths wife Jane aged 42 with a couple of children had passed away after suffering breast cancer for 10 years.  Someone who was doing so much…

 
Over these past few days I have become a little reflective, thinking about the things that I want to achieve, the things that I haven't achieved, the things that I have said, the things that I haven't, the places I have been to, and the places that I yet have to go to, and truly living my purpose…which is to “lead, inspire and make a difference…”

I have just noticed an entry in my diary…

“What a great couple of days, being with family, being able to be who I really am, amongst my own people!! and with people that understand you.”

When I read this I thought WOW!!! realizing how profound this statement is, and on reflection knowing that it is preparing me for what I am going to learn to deal with when I get to London, “loss of my culture”, “heritage”, “Italian family” and I feel more than ever the “loss of my parents”.

Daniela & Sergio took me to the local cemetery so that I could pay my respects to Nonna, this was the first time that I had been to the cemetery in San Felice, and as I walked around, looking at the names on the headstones I realized that there were many people with my family names.

I just didn’t know who they were and how they were connected to me. This was another time that I wished that I had my parents with me so that they could explain and give me a family history lesson.

Life is full of learning’s and experiences and perpetually growing when faced with each of them.

As we came close to leaving San Felice del Molise, the town with the water tower, the town where my mum and dad were born, the town that I originated from and if my parents didn’t come to Australia, this town would have been my playground.

How different would my life have been…?

The goodbyes commenced, it started in Mafalda, by saying goodbye to my Aunty and Uncle who have not been well, my young cousin and her two boys, Giampiero and Lorenzo (what a daredevil!!), then we went to San Felice del Molise, where we said our goodbyes to my Aunty and Uncle, my cousins Giovanna and Antonio, and an old Aunt (my mum’s last remaining cousins in Italy).

Will they still be here when I return? How old will my cousins be? How many changes will be made to this beautiful part of the world? My intention is to return soon, however that may not happen…

Deep in reflection of what was, what could be, what will be we leave with tears and a longing heart, another part of this incredible journey coming to an end…